Rebecca Hyne, a recent graduate from Kingston, today reportedly gazed into the bottomless pit of despair that sums up her career prospects, before wondering if there might be some jobs at the bottom of it.
“I think I can see something moving down there,” Hyne said, peering into the abyss. “Could be a Costa or a Poundland.”
Hyne then wrapped a CV around one of her shoes and threw it into the pit, watching it slowly bounce down the side into oblivion.
A recent statement from the Department for Work and Pensions has encouraged graduates to search for jobs in all metaphysical representations of their own despair, including inside wells of their own tears and amongst the shattered remains of their dreams.