Witnesses say that the beast jolted awake at around 3PM in its brightly-lit bedroom, blinking uncomprehendingly into the daylight streaming in through the windows as it grasped out into space with its right wing in search of the door to the adjacent toilet. Its actions are also believed to have caused a glass of insect blood that it had previously placed on its bedside table to fall heavily onto the floor, staining the bedroom’s carpet.
The animal eventually succeeded in navigating its way to the bathroom, though only after knocking to the floor its bedside lamp, several books, and the desiccated carcass of a large beetle. It is also understood that the bat emitted several sharp, high-pitched shrieks as it bumped its head into the lintel of the bedroom door, in a crude attempt at profanity.
Green’s spouse is understood to have also awoken during the commotion, castigating the animal for its unnecessarily noisy and disruptive behaviour. Human sources, meanwhile, have expressed dismay at the irrationality of the creature’s actions, pouring scorn upon its physical clumsiness and under-developed spatial awareness of even its own living quarters.