Following a historic debate in the House of Commons yesterday, MPs voted overwhelmingly to allow the Royal Air Force to go out and play with all the other air forces. For months the RAF had been pleading with David Cameron to allow them to play in the neighbour’s yard but the PM had until now maintained that it was still too dangerous.
“There was quite a lot of debate back and forth over whether this was a legal action or if it would actually be effective in stopping ISIS,” said Defence Secretary Michael Fallon. “But at the end of the day it came all down to the eager little faces of our darling pilots. I just couldn’t say no to them.”
The RAF is ordered to be on their best behaviour and to make sure that people who don’t want to play with them aren’t hurt. This may be difficult as the people who really want to play often mix with people who are “trying to concentrate on living our lives and don’t want to be killed by either of your bullshit ideologies thank you very much.”
Hilary Benn is being praised today for his passionate plea to other MPs which many say swung the debate. “I’m fully aware of the risk of scraped knees, grazed elbows and the ever looming threat of capture, torture and live-streamed beheadings but they’re only young once,” said the Shadow Foreign Secretary. “Besides, Christmas is just around the corner, and the RAF has been very good this year, so let’s let them play with their friends for a bit!”
Benn’s passionate speech reminded many of his late father Tony Benn though of course he faced criticism for never letting the RAF out no matter how nicely they asked.
It is rumoured that the RAF are still upset as they will have to be back in their bases by bedtime whereas the French Air force is allowed to stay out as long as they want which is “totally unfair”.