Empty chair forecast to triumph in TV debates


The chair’s position on the deficit is as yet unknown

Following David Cameron’s refusal to take part in the upcoming leadership debates, the empty chair to be displayed in his absence is predicted to triumph in the contest according to experts.

The chair polls particularly well for respectability, dependability and openness.

“Voters look at the chair and think ‘what you see is what you get” says Ben Page from Ipsos MORI. “It’s down to earth, it’s approachable, and voters say they could imagine spending an evening in the pub with it.”

Born to relative poverty, the empty chair also benefits from a compelling life story. Unlike leaders from the other main parties it didn’t attend private school or university and attributes its place on the stage to a simple mixture of ‘good luck’ and ‘hard work’.

Friends of the chair speaking to Underground Magazine have also been quick to commend it. “It’s always been there for me” said one long term admirer. While other sources describe it as “comforting and easy to work with”.

Ed Miliband’s team, however, plan some tough questioning for the chair which he has already suggested is ignorant of foreign policy and the economy.

But the chair’s advocates say its lack of experience is actually a good thing.

“The Lib Dems didn’t have a credible plan for government and that didn’t stop them. The empty chair will do just fine.”

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