Aliens cancel plans to contact Earth after reading YouTube comments


The president of the Atwari race from the nearby Luyten 726-8 galaxy confirmed today that his people will not be continuing with plans to make contact with Earth. “After reviewing several thousand comments left on the popular human website YouTube,” said Atwari President R’Muh 6varthe “I cannot possibly justify reaching out to their species at this time”.

President R’Muh 6var, who has previously expressed excitement at sharing cutting edge technology that could have cured cancer, eliminated world poverty, and put an end to all war forever, said that the regrettable decision came about after a junior aide showed him the video for Lorde’s ‘Royals’. “For such a simple people, I enjoyed this musical composition very much. But the sheer level of hatred and poor spelling in the comments that followed it made me seriously rethink our plans. I do not believe that ‘kil dat fat bich’ and ‘she luks like Hitlerr’ are good indicators or interspecies cooperation.”

“It appears that a great many humans hate the female strata of their population, for reasons that we cannot fully understand. This seems counterintuitive and does not bode well for the future of the species as a whole.” continued the president.

Among other baffling discoveries the Atwaris made via Earth’s World Wide Web were selfies, trolling, and vlogging. The increasing popularity of these phenomenon has lead Atwari scientists to posit the theory that human evolution has ceased to continue and has in fact begun to reverse.

The president expressed hope that human beings would overcome these evolutionary challenges as they had done in the past with planking, owling and Gangnam Style. The next hearing on contacting Earth is postponed for 5 Atwari years (approx. 36 Earth years) or “up to the point when humans stop taking photos of their food before consuming it.”

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