Stating that he was tired of selling his soul for money and wanted to reacquire some imaginative spirit, 28-year old Russell Blankfein has abandoned his career as an investment banker in order to pursue his creative dreams as a management consultant.
The move, which Blankfein has hailed as his ‘biggest adventure yet’, involves relocating to an office two blocks west of where he currently works, and commuting one extra stop on the tube.
“Sometimes you’ve just got to follow your heart, no matter where the money lies,” said Blankfein as he sought to explain the move to incredulous co-workers who consider it financial suicide.
“The truth is that colour and form have always excited me and somehow I just wanted to give licence to that spirit of expression,” added Blankfein, as he carefully stowed his desk equipment in cardboard boxes and made a mental note to put his banking contacts to good use in the new role. “Self-realization is what this new job is going to be all about.”
He went on to quit in style, vowing never again to look at the particular type of Excel spreadsheets he was then looking at, and cutting off his tie in a softly spoken tirade about how from this day on he will be ‘an open-collar-jacket-guy’.
At press time Blankfein had already begun experimenting with PowerPoint’s artistic possibilities.