A court has today ruled that psychologically fragile drug user, Gordon Holmes, 29, is to spend the next 10 months recovering at a nice, safe distance from all friends and family in a Doncaster prison cell.
The judgement handed down by Mires LJ added that Holmes would live in close proximity to other ex-drug users who are also suffering from chronic withdrawal symptoms so that they can all keep their minds off drugs at the same time together in a confined space.
Reflecting on the sentence Holmes said: “This could be the best thing that has ever have happened to me. Socially excluded and stigmatised as an abuser – I’ll probably never think about drugs again!”
Modern criminology has it that when large numbers of criminals are all put together they re-examine their life choices and see the error of their ways. “To the extent that their incarceration allows it we expect prisoners will do all sorts of things to broaden their horizons.” said Professor Flood from UCL.
“The voluntary sector, charities, foreign travel, these are all things inmates will incorporate into their lives while serving time in their windowless grey cells.”
In a press release the Department of Justice reaffirmed its drugs policy of isolating offenders entirely from society that they may emerge happy, well adjusted citizens at peace with the state by the end of their sentence.