dystopia

What’s up 2090! Your guide to all that’s hip in the future

dystopia

Blacks and greys are in. Infrastructure and basic amenities are out.

Underground Magazine’s trend hunter kidnaps a cool teen from the future to get ahead of the game on what’s hot 80 years from now!

Jemma, thanks for joining us and sorry about kidnapping you from the future. Now, tell us what’s going down in 2090!

Well, before the radio stopped broadcasting I heard nuclear armageddon had destroyed  all of….

Wait! So are Brad and Angelina still together?

Who?…Look, you may yet be able to avert the worst of the pandemics if you just –

And what sort of fashions can we expect to see on the streets? That is if you still have streets – if they haven’t been replaced with the internet!

Um, well I’m wearing a makeshift garment made from a sack. I couldn’t really get out the bloodstains, but to be honest anything that keeps the worst of the acid rai-

Retro! I’m sure our readers will be stockpiling the hemp cloth as we speak!

Good, but you also might want to stockpile fossil fuel supplies, because when Iran…

Enough with the politics already! Let’s talk about hairstyles – what’s hot?

Ah, I have heard about this ‘hair’ in the history books. I don’t think we have it anymore, ever since the mass slaughter of …..

Oh, are people still totally addicted to Apple products?

No, their popularity plummeted once we realised they actually all cause multiple scler-

And what about Lana del Rey!

Oh yes, she’s still inexplicably popular

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