Forgetful Jewish person worried they’ll give away global conspiracy


A forgetful Jewish person has expressed concern about giving away, in a moment of absent-mindedness, the massive Zionist conspiracy which controls every aspect of life on Earth.

Primary School teacher Elizabeth Stein, 36, commented that she was “frankly terrified” about her chances of maintaining the secrecy of the millennia-old scheme for Jewish domination of the human race, having already come close to letting the secret slip on several occasions.

“Like recently when I was on the train, I just went to get some crisps – and then I suddenly realized I’d left a laptop with the original blueprints for 9/11 wide open on the table,” commented Miss Stein ruefully. “Fortunately, another Jewish lady found it first and logged off for me, but it was still a real face-palm moment, you know?”

“And then this other time, I was chatting about the economy with someone who I thought was Jewish, because his name was Cohen and that’s how you can tell,” added Miss Stein. “And I started talking about next week’s developments in the stock market, instead of last week’s.”

“Why do they even tell me this stuff !?” she continued “I was just saying to Benjamin Netanyahu and Natalie Portman – at the secret meeting we have in a big Star of David underneath Jerusalem – how difficult it is to keep all this under wraps.”

“Besides, do you have any idea how hard it is to bring about international Jewry while being a full time Mum?” Miss Stein added, “It’s like, grab some coffee, take the kids to school, invent ISIS so the Israeli state has an excuse to bomb Syria, pick the kids up.”

“All things considered, It’s amazing no ones given the game away. All it would take is someone to persecute us just a little bit, and it would all come tumbling out.”

At press time, Miss Stein was reflecting that the gigantic worldwide conspiracy to subjugate and destroy the white gentile race has, by some measures, turned out to be more trouble than it was worth.

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