This weekend the British Army released their new recruitment advert, which is set in a Sainsbury’s Local. The TV campaign, which they promise will be over by Christmas, features soldiers dressed as checkout assistants enacting the Battle of the Somme.
Early viewers have reacted emotionally to the scenes of violent carnage which fill the supermarket aisles. “It’s a very powerful advert,” said Jessica Langley. “I vomited during the checkout sequence when the grenade went off. There are so many dead bodies you can’t even see what’s in the meal deal that week.”
Most of the advert’s £7.2 million budget was spent on special effects, with complicated CGI required to produce the blood which gushes from victims’ severed limbs and torsos. In a particularly moving sequence, a group of young soldiers are enveloped by a cloud of mustard gas as one of them screams ‘I can taste…the difference!’.
Some viewers have objected to the ad, saying it gives the wrong message about the millions of people who visit supermarkets. “They’re making a quick shop at Sainsburys look like a gory battle full of horrifying pain, mutilation, and futile death,” said Samantha Charlton. “It’s actually nothing like that – unless you make the mistake of going when all the office workers are buying lunch, in which case good luck getting out of there alive.”
“But this add distorts the fond memories we all have of purchasing groceries. Sure, bad things can happen in supermarkets. But I’ve never seen Panzers in the global foods aisle.”
The Ministry of Defence have also realised a limited edition Vickers machine gun to commemorate the advert. All proceeds will go towards subsidising training at Sandhurst for anyone with over 888,246 Nectar points.