Tony Blair proposes airstrikes to bring democracy to Hong Kong


“I have a vision for the region. Neeeearrgh, whoooshh, crakoooommm!!!”

The former British Prime Minister Tony Blair today weighed in on the on-going democracy protests in Hong Kong with one of his trademarked suggestions to bomb the region into reform.

“When that beautiful orange plume of flames sweeps through the central business district and democracy flourishes in it’s wake you will realise that once again, crazy old Tony knew just what to do,” said Mr Blair. “Just like Iraq, just like Libya and just like Iran in 2 months time… shit.”

When it was pointed out that the strikes would no doubt lead to the deaths of tens of thousands of the very people he was aiming to help Mr Blair rolled his eyes and said “Omelettes. Eggs. What are you going to do?”

“It’s Tony’s answer to pretty much everything these days,” said an unimpressed Cherie Blair. “I asked him to pop round to the shops for some cheddar last week and he said a targeted strike on the fridge would bring about cheese just as effectively. He also said it would be a longer lasting cheese whatever that means.”

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