David Cameron has announced that the third remake of the Iraq war will go ahead as planned, after the House of Commons voted to support military action. Shooting will begin as soon as possible.
Cameron insisted that the remake would be ‘completely different’ to the previous two versions of the war. “In fact, it’s misleading to call this just another Iraq war,” he said. “It’s more of a kind of cool spin-off.”
“We’ve got a whole bunch of young British talent to make this war the biggest and best yet,” he added. “We’re starting with just six planes, but this thing could run and run.”
The new war marks a fresh ‘reboot’ of the franchise, where everything that happened previously in other Iraq wars will be completely ignored. New villains the Islamic State are making their first appearance, with Syrian President Bashar al-Assad in an ambiguous role that is being kept under wraps. Suspicions that the war will in fact be split into several parts are as yet unconfirmed.
“Oh, not another remake!” said disappointed war fan Tony Blair. “Seriously, I thought we’d been there and done that. Why not take some risks and invest in exciting new wars? It’ll never be as good as the original.”
“Besides, this time they’ve actually got international consensus,” he added. “That’s not going to be any fun, is it?”