As the date of the Scottish referendum approaches, Better Together have responded to allegations of panicked campaigning by recruiting a headless chicken.
“We’ve had all the big guns helping out,” said previous frontman Alistair Darling. “Brown, Cameron, Miliband, Clegg…and now, we’ve got the headless chicken to oversee it all.”
The headless chicken has already brought direction to the previously lacklustre campaign. “We didn’t know what we were doing before,” admitted David Cameron. “But now we do – running round in circles.”
“The ‘Yes’ campaign have made a lot of technical arguments that come from the head,” he added. “Well, we’re not going to use arguments from the head, because the chicken hasn’t got one.”
The headless chicken was last seen standing on a soapbox in Dumfries spraying jets of blood over undecided voters.