Long-time internet troll Alan Archer today expressed his “deep and profound frustration” over the death of comedian and actor Robin Williams, a man who garnered so much affection throughout his career that it “makes my job almost impossible.”
“It’s pretty tricky, because it seems like everyone loved him” Archer commented. “I can’t even talk about the bad films because no one’s perfect and he was a genuinely talented actor. Have you seen Good Will Hunting? I mean, wow. Where did that performance come from? Personally, I’ll always have a soft spot for Patch Adams. I don’t care what other people say, I like it.”
Archer, who at the time of going to press had 35 Twitter followers, continued: “He uses humour to help his fellow inmates in a mental institute – come on! If you don’t tear up at that you’re just not human.”
“Not knowing why he did it is the most difficult part. I guess he was pretty seriously depressed? I don’t really want to make fun of that. We all have moments… Maybe it was an autoerotic asphyxiation thing?! A sex accident would be great, because as it stands he is not making this easy for me. Dammit Robin” he quietly muttered.
“He was in Flubber for fuck’s sake! He brought joy to millions!” Archer shouted while slamming his fists on his keyboard. He then paused, got up from his desk and said “why am I even doing this? Maybe I should just go outside.”