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Obama pulls “Mission Accomplished” banner out of storage

obama-mission-accomplishedPredicting a swift victory over ISIS and the Islamic state, President Obama today prepared to celebrate liberating the people of Iraq once more by dusting off his “Mission Accomplished” banner.

“Look, two, three weeks, tops, our mission in Iraq will be accomplished again, and then we can put the banner back up and get on with our lives,” said Mr Obama. “Sure there are people who say we raised this banner prematurely before but I can promise you that this time we are leaving Iraq with a bright and prosperous future. For one thing we’re using drones now. They’re really high tech.”

Critics of the President urged him not to limit the banner’s use to Iraq. “We need to be judicious about our projection of power overseas,” said House Speaker John Boehner. “This banner will soon be needed again in Libya, Ukraine, Yemen, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Belgium and Syria. With the amount of missions we’re accomplishing these days we may need to consider raising defence spending by several billion so we can buy another banner.”

President Obama however was keen for this to be a lesson for people who said it was a waste of money when the white house originally bought this banner. “As you can clearly see, we’ve gotten a lot of use out of it after our mission in Iraq was accomplished in 2003, 2004, 2007, 2010, 2011, 2013 and now finally 2014,” said the US President. “These wars will never bankrupt the United States if we are dedicated about recycling.”

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