Prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu revealed in a statement today that Israel’s highly effective strategy of eliminating future Hamas leaders while they are still children ‘will continue as long as it has to’.
“Our intelligence suggests that 100% of current Hamas leaders were once Palestinian children, so what we’re doing now with our military operations is thinking ahead 25 years,” confirmed Netanyahu. “An innocent Gazan baby today is a terrorist tomorrow.”
“UN-run schools in Gaza are basically terrorist factories,” commented one former IDF general who wished to remain anonymous. “Think about it – every year, these schools take children and turn them into young adults – and then the vast majority of them turn into terrorists. Bombing schools is basically a ‘nip them in the bud’ tactic, not to mention that children are much easier to take out than adults. This really is the way to defeat Hamas once and for all.”
The Israeli government has been careful to provide safety measures for the ‘tiny’ number of children who are unlikely to become terrorists in the future. “Any non-future-terrorists in the Gaza Strip can shelter in a 100m² enclosure by the coast which is 30% less likely to be bombed than anywhere else,” commented Gilbert Shaim, the IDF’s head of operations.
“Here in Israel, during conflict situations, we always think about the children’s safety first,” Shaim added.