World leaders today announced that they were stepping up plans to commemorate the First World War with the long awaited World War Three.
“As we remember the First World War it’s important to acknowledge the sense of gravity and togetherness us Brits are feeling” said the Prime Minister. “I want to give future generations the opportunity to feel like this”
“There’s a lot of potential out there on the market at the moment, with the likes of Russia vs. Ukraine, Israel vs. Palestine and Iraq vs. Isis all being excellent starting points. Either way, I can assure the British people that this government is working closely with leaders of other countries to ensure that a new conflict commences as soon as possible. I also have assurances that Mr Blair is currently in Egypt doing his best to see the Middle East is a key theatre for the upcoming carnage.”
Chief whip Michael Gove was immediately supportive of the Prime Minister’s comments, adding “left-wing propagandists will have us believe that these opportunities for war are not there. But I can see them. They are there. And to pass up on them would only cause outrage amongst the public.”
“The French are pissing me off at the moment as well,” said Gove. “I’m hoping we can be against them this time.”