The corporate culture of excess reached new heights today as intern Ashley Friedman announced her intention to ‘expense the fuck’ out of a £3.79 Boots meal deal.
Friedman, a temporary unpaid intern at publishing firm ‘Noble and Noble’ , decided to ruthlessly exploit the company’s lavish expenses system as soon as she heard about its existence. The policy allows interns to claim up to £5 towards a daily lunch allowance, subject to receipts being submitted.
“When I dreamed of a job in publishing, I had no idea I’d be able to get away with such decadence,” said Friedman. “Just think of the several items I can purchase: a sandwich, crisps, and any soft drink as long as it’s not Red Bull or anything crazy. And all for just ten plus hours of unpaid work! Suckers.”
“I’m taking down these guys down,” she added. “One egg mayo sandwich at a time. Yes, I know it’s the least expensive sandwich, but it happens to be the one I like.”
At the time of writing Barthes was reportedly considering blowing the remaining £1.21 of the daily limit on an extra packet of crisps ‘for later’. “It’s not technically lunch if I eat it after 7pm on the tube home, but I don’t play by the rules,” said Friedman. “Or if I get extra crisps each day and sell them later, I’ll even be making a profit. Suck it, employer!”
Friedman is yet to be told that the £5 allowance was only valid in 2013, and that interns are now expected to pay for their own lunch.