GLASTONBURY-FESTIVAL-2013-facebook.jpg

Glastonbury adds 100,000 shit-faced idiots to line-up

GLASTONBURY-FESTIVAL-2013-facebook.jpg

Rumours that Glastonbury Festival has managed to secure 100,000 paralytically drunk morons as one of its lead acts just days before the festival starts were officially confirmed today.

“It’s a big win for us,” confirmed organiser Michael Eavis. “We were pretty confident in the quality of the line-up, with Metallica, Ed Sheeran, Blondie and so on – but the real attraction is expected to be the thousands of completely wasted reprobates that we’ve managed to get in at the last-minute.”

“If it’s anything like last year, they’ll get up to all sorts of antics on the big stage – getting off their faces with any mind-altering substance they can lay their hands on, fucking each other like diseased rabbits, throwing up inside their sleeping bags, and posting every single minute of their unsanitary mud-soaked weekend on Instagram to make it clear how much fun they are having.”

“But really it’s all about the music at the end of the day,” added Eavis.

Related News

Comments are closed

Copyrıght 2013 FUEL THEMES. All RIGHTS RESERVED.