Heroic cat videoed murdering baby birds and licking own anus


There was shock and disbelief today when footage emerged of a once highly regarded cat torturing and killing several young birds and engaging in auto-cunnilingus in public.

Tara, a ginger cat of unknown age, was heralded as a hero last week when footage emerged of her “saving” a young boy from an attack by a dog. However, when a local news crew turned up at the family home this week for an interview with the cat, they captured a very different side of her.

“We were filming some filler shots in the area when we just happened upon Tara in a neighbour’s driveway,” say Amy Pilling, a reporter for WLKZ news. “We thought it would be fun to get some candid shots and started rolling film but when we got closer we saw she was playing with carcases of recently killed baby sparrows! There was blood all over her face and she was snarling like an animal!”

The 5 minute video, which has somehow failed to have the same impact as last week’s heroics, then shows the killer sprawling on the pavement and casually licking her own anus, in full view of some passing school children.

When the news crew called local police to report this rampage they were told to their horror that nothing could be done. “It seems like it’s one rule for Tara and another for ordinary decent people,” says Pilling.

Neighbours say that this behaviour is nothing new for the troubled moggy. “We’ve been trying to tell people since the video went viral last week that they don’t know the real Tara,” said one neighbour who wished to remain anonymous. “There’s not a day goes by that she doesn’t defecate in our child’s sandbox or leave carcases on our front lawn. She’s a menace and a pervert.”

“It just goes to show you should never meet your heroes,” says the still shaken cameraman “They’ll only disappoint you and spray urine in your face.”

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