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Woman’s financial plans mainly involve parents dying

020813-national-money-monday-women-woman-saving-finances-financial-check-writing

According to numerous sources, the long-term financial plans of Julie Granger, 29, from Sutton, are ‘completely dependent’ on her parents dying soon.

“I’ve put everything into one spreadsheet – my income, basic living expenses, a small budget for non-essentials. Yep, looks like the only way I’m going to make it through the next 40 years is if my parents die and leave me their inheritance – soon,” commented Granger.

“And if I ever want to buy a house to further ensure my financial stability, let’s put it this way – grandparents, uncles, aunts, distant cousins who happen to be sitting on a pile of cash will all have to go too. I know, it’s sad, but that’s basically the only chance I have of making it onto the property ladder given the price of buying a place these days,” she added.

At time of going to press Granger was googling ‘voluntary euthanasia’.

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