The head of Boko Haram today logged onto Twitter for the first time in a month to discover the worldwide trending hashtag “#bringbackourgirls” that was all about his group and their actions.
Abubakar Shekau, the leader of the Islamic militant group that stole 276 schoolgirls from Chibok, says he had no idea that people were so interested in his work.
“I’m actually quite embarrassed,” said Shekau. “It’s really hard to get signal when you’re on the run with 200 schoolgirls so I had no idea that @sparkley_hunny68 and @BarackObama were looking for updates. It’s taken me all morning to get through my DMs.”
Boko Haram were quick to satisfy their new followers by releasing a video of the missing girls and trying to organise a reunion with some previous members of their group.
“A lot of the guys weren’t really feeling the jihad anymore but this publicity is a real shot in the arm for us,” says Shekua. “I’ve been asked to speak at the next Nigerian TEDtalks about growing your social media presence. We’ve got some big plans for Abuja in the next fortnight too but it’s all hush-hush.”
Some twitter users are confused as they thought the hashtag campaign was somehow going to end the brutal warfare in Nigeria. “Debbie at work suggested a bake sale,” said Gillian Martin. “But I wanted to show a larger audience how caring I am, so I went online.”
“We had so much success in ridding the world or makeup by using #nomakeupselfie that I thought it could work for religious and politically fueled genocide too,” continued Martin. “Now I don’t know what to believe anymore.”