It has been announced today that the royal baby is the best baby because it is a royal baby, whereas other babies are not.
Whilst the royal baby may appear, behave and smell exactly like a typical baby, it is not a typical baby, it is better. The reason that it is inherently superior to every other baby currently in existence is because it is a royal baby, and royal babies are better than other babies.
“Other babies, if they were to become royal, may be as good as the royal baby” explained a scientist, pointing to an elaborate flow chart. “However, no other baby has become royal.That is why the royal baby is the best baby.”
One member of the public, who had the privilege of meeting the baby, told us “I could immediately tell that this baby was better than any other baby. Because it was a royal baby. And royal baby is best baby.”
The Queen, who was once a royal baby, could perhaps be the best baby if she were still a baby. But she is not still a baby. And so the royal baby remains, indisputably, the best baby.
“Royal baby is best baby.” The Queen explained.