Critics were silenced today after Tony Blair’s mission as Middle East envoy ended in complete success, with Arab, European, Muslim, Jew and Christian people uniting in hatred of the former British Prime Minister.
Crowds across all of the Gulf States, as well as in all major European capitals, were seen joining hands and singing songs about how fed up they are of the meddling former Prime Minister.
Following his promise to ‘make a difference’ as Middle East peace envoy, Blair has worked tirelessly for years, using every skill at his disposal to convince the entire region to hate him.
“Oh god, it all seems so silly now,” explained King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, “I think the problem really was a lack of empathy between the people of the west and the Middle East. But once we saw that you guys hated Blair just as much as we did, we couldn’t help but see a little bit of ourselves in you. And once you make that connection, well, from there on it’s easy”.
Benjamin Netanyahu echoed these comments as he embraced Iranian supreme leader Ayatollah Khamenei earlier today, saying, “One of the biggest problems we’ve faced in recent years has been trying to find common ground, but when we discovered that we all despised that sanctimonious, balding prick, we finally had something to work with.”