G7 now ‘totally blanking’ Putin

"Totes blanked, lol."

“Totes blanked, lol.”

In response to Russian agitation in Ukraine the G7 leaders have agreed to a vicious campaign of blanking Russian president Vladimir Putin.

“Oh. My. God, I’m SUCH a bitch,” exclaimed French president Francois Hollande after once again refusing to acknowledge Putin as he passed him in a United Nations hallway. Soon afterwards a gaggle of senior European diplomats could be seen giggling loudly having just done the same.

Some commentators have argued the move is too tough, particularly considering that the Western leaders have already refused to invite Putin to their cool G7 party. However, diplomats were quick to defend the strategy: “The West has been pretty restrained really. We’ve held some more drastic sanctions in reserve, like defriending Putin on Facebook or posting unflattering photos of him to instagram.”

Even former US president George W. Bush contributed to the snub, painting a deeply unflattering portrait of the Russian leader. “I made his face look like a butt,” the retired statesman explained.

The G7 leaders appeared confident that the plan was working. “He’s probably like, super upset or something,” said Canadian PM Stephen Harper at one meeting to discuss the strategy. “Yeah totes,” replied Angela Merkel “If we keep this up he’ll soon come crying, begging us to stop and saying he’ll leave Ukraine alone”.

Sources close to the Russian President say he is yet to notice the snub.

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