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Man ruins Game of Thrones with series of novels full of spoilers

martin dance Man ruins Game of Thrones with series of novels full of spoilers

Mr Martin shown here with a stash of the books which he foists on unsuspecting people to ruin their day | Photo by Shawn Speakman

The entertainment industry was today warning fans of the popular HBO series Game Of Thrones to avoid ‘at all costs’ a series of books by a rogue enthusiast named George R.R. Martin, who has written five whole volumes consisting solely of spoilers for the popular television show.

“This man is dangerous and wants to ruin everyone’s enjoyment of a much-loved fantasy drama.” said executive producer D. B. Weiss. “It’s a sad symptom of today’s ‘binge’ culture that people can’t just wait and enjoy things as they are released. They want everything at once.”

“I cannot stress quite how irresponsible it is for someone to write out the whole series, add more detail, go back in time and then publish it for innocent people to purchase and read thus spoiling the series for them. Who does this Martin guy think he is?”

Some of the books in question, which add up to a total of some 4,200 pages, contain so many spoilers that they have had to be split into volumes. HBO executives are investigating how Martin is able to work on new editions set far in advance of the current TV series.

TV fan Simon Rix told us he “picked up a copy of one of the books thinking it was a companion piece or a spin-off from the TV show, but after reading all of them in one week, I had the whole show ruined for me in intricate detail. There were characters I’d never heard of, plot lines that went way off course, and not nearly as much nudity.”

“It’s hugely upsetting to think that there are people who are reading these so called books who don’t even know that they are entirely plagiarised from the TV series,” continued Mr Rix. “Those poor bastards will never know how hot Daenerys really is from some bullshit wordy description.”

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