A pre-school student from Highgate has this week revealed that, unlike every other child in the UK, she actively enjoys the sharp, bitter taste of green Skittles.
“They are probably my favourite coloured sweetie,” explained Sophie Glass, 4, to surprised journalists gathered round the gates of Billingsly Lane Primary School. “Greens, and to a lesser extent the yellows, they just taste really clean and …” She waved her little hands about, groping for a word. “Piquant.”
Recent studies have shown that most other nursery-age children shun green skittles entirely, preferring to flick them at less popular classmates. A few ‘dedicated gourmands’ opt to eat them first, gurning and screwing up their faces in disgust, just so that they can get it all out of the way and focus on the delicious glut of reds and purples they save for last.
“I find the reds a bit too sweet, if you know what I mean” explained Sophie, loading up her bubble pipe with a measured blend of spring water and Fairy Non-Bio. “Ah, Fairy,” she whispered. “Goes down smooth.”
Sophie’s parents, who are normal, have no idea what might have led to their daughter’s sophisticated palette. “It came on at about 3,” stated Helen Glass, Sophie’s mother. “Suddenly, she was asking for blue cheese grated on her mashed potato, and requesting Margaux with her happy meal. Perhaps it was the amount of dark chocolate I ate when I was breastfeeding, or that fact that I was once bitten by Loyd Grossman. But I expect it’s just one of those things.”
Both Helen and husband Roy remain optimistic that a promising career awaits Sophie, and are looking forward to the day when they can say that their daughter is a mildly pretentious restaurant critic, rather than an infuriatingly precocious four-year-old.