Office worker Tom Granton was in damage control mode this morning after openly complaining to co-workers that Oscar-winning movie 12 Years A Slave is “a decent movie, but come on, a bit over the top right?”.
Granton, who has never been a slave, was heard claiming, “Of course I know it actually happened! Look, I just mean the film seemed a bit ridiculous to me.”
“I’m not trying to say that slaves didn’t have a hard time – I just think it’s obvious that a film will always be slightly fictionalized,” he added. “It’s not racist to point out that there might have been a bias for that film. It’s like anybody who didn’t like it is automatically a racist – but I’m not a racist!”
Granton’s colleagues were shocked that as an un-oppressed white man he continued to insist that he had a legitimate opinion about the Academy Award-winning film. “I preferred Gravity myself, to be honest,” said one co-worker who wished to remain anonymous, “But at least I realise that it’s latent racism making me think that. I’d never be so crass as to say it out loud.”
Granton’s twin counter-arguments that he has black friends and enjoyed other movies featuring black actors such as Big Momma’s House, Rush Hour and Rush Hour 2 did not help his case in any way. “Yep, exactly what you’d expect a racist to say,” commented HR rep Peter Tran in response.
Ex-friends of Granton have mentioned that he used to find Beyoncé extremely attractive and spoke of having ‘a lot of time’ for Condoleezza Rice, but now “probably thinks Jennifer Lawrence was excellent in American Hustle. The racist pig.”