"Kneel before me minions!"

Nigel Farage: “I can cause earthquakes”

"Kneel before me minions!"

“Kneel before me minions!”

The leader of UKIP today shocked both supporters and opponents by claiming that he had developed a method of causing tectonic plates to collide, thus producing earthquakes.

In a startling speech at UKIP’s spring conference Mr Farage made his transition from slightly right-wing libertarian politician to full blown super villain, making veiled threats about natural disasters and proclaiming that the future belonged to his party alone.

It appears that Mr Farage’s earthquake causing doomsday device may be related to his party’s previous attempts to control weather using homosexuals and to summon floods of immigrants using made up statistics.

UKIP have yet to announce what kind of ransom must be paid to prevent them subjecting the country to prolonged earthquakes though it’s expected to be something to do with leaving the EU.

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