A record 15 million people tuned in last night to watch the Bradford Agricultural and Farming Technology Awards, which celebrates the most talented innovators in farming throughout the Bradford region and beyond. The flagship West Yorkshire awards, which have now won a closely-contested victory in the awards season ratings war, are being widely seen as “a much safer bet than the other BAFTAs” according to surveys of the TV-viewing public.
“I wish I had been in Bradford at the good BAFTAs last night,” commented actress Dame Helen Mirren this morning. “For one, their compère is actually funny — in a gentle, bucolic way — and there’s a genuine sense of the best of British talent being on display. It’s not just some trumped up pre-show for the American award which is all people actually care about.”
In recent years an increasing number of films stars have been making the journey up to the West Yorkshire awards, citing “better catering, fewer self-congratulatory speeches and better-looking nominees”, and in return the Bradford BAFTAs (henceforth to be referred to as the BAFTAs) have been taking a wider approach.
“Well, originally 12 Years A Slave was included in the programme because we thought it was a documentary about foreign agricultural practices,” said BAFTA president Roger Casey. “I was really glad to find out it was fictional and didn’t actually happen to people.” Meanwhile, young actor Will Poulter was thrilled to win a Best In Show rosette, an award which puts him in contention to become a prized stud later in his career.
In related news, local Bradford farmer Martin Herman is suing Woody Allen for copyright. “I’ve had a cow called Blue Jasmine compete in the BAFTAs every year since 1972,” Herman is reported to have said in court. “There’s just no way he didn’t know about it.”