12 Years A Slave

Man who owns humans reconsidering after watching ‘12 Years A Slave’

12 Years A Slave

Neil Bingley, an eccentric Peckham resident who owns seven human beings, was this week forced to reassess after being moved to tears by award-winning film ‘12 Years A Slave’.

“I always felt like maybe I shouldn’t be keeping real human beings locked up in my attic indefinitely, but couldn’t put my finger on what exactly was wrong until I saw how badly Solomon Northup was treated. It reminded me a lot of the time a couple of weeks ago when I lined up all my slaves and ordered them to whip each other, except in the movie it was just cruel, you know?” commented Bingley after coming out of the cinema on Thursday.

“I mean, to be clear, I’m not going to free anyone, but I might think about letting a couple of slaves walk around Peckham Rye every fortnight or so, or increase their daily water allowance from 50ml to 100ml,” he added.

Bingley’s slaves are said to have consoled him when he came back from the cinema. “He was pretty shaken – seems like the film laid it on pretty hard about slave-owning,” said Slavoj, 39, one of Bingley’s best slaves. “They should try to be a bit more sensitive to people out there.”

Slavoj is chained to a radiator next to Bingley’s Yamaha keyboard.

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