3,367,123 tube users squeeze onto 100 extra buses

Travel chaos was narrowly avoided in the capital this morning as the three and a half million regular tube journeys taken every day in London were replaced by 100 extra buses.

“At first we though this might be a real problem” said London Mayor Boris Johnson “but then we did the maths and discovered that 100 buses times 72 people per bus came out to exactly three and a half million. We might actually be able to shut the underground network for good!”

Commuters who were still trying to make it into work at half 12 were delighted to hear the news: “Here I thought chaos was reigning around me with people fighting and clawing to force themselves onto already packed buses but actually its not like that at all!” said Tim Blackwell nursing an open head-wound. “The important thing is that both Boris Johnson and Bob Crow have managed to save face in this situation and keep their record of never meeting in 5 years intact. Keep it up guys, everyone is behind you!”

Anyone in London who might still be under the impression that the strikes have hugely impacted the functioning of the city is asked to check Twitter for the handful of people who had no problems whatsoever for proof.

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