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Michael Gove appoints himself new Ofsted chief

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“Me? Ofsted chief? Why, I’d be flattered.”

Michael Gove today announced that he was making himself the new Ofsted chief “based purely on meritocratic selection criteria” such as “being brilliant”, “loving reform the best” and “being the greatest education minister ever.”

Mr Gove immediately was forced to defend himself from accusations of favouritism.  “The idea that I just appoint talentless people like friends, party supporters or myself to these positions is ludicrous. A radical communist could be appointed if I believed they possessed the most merit,” said Mr Gove shortly after announcing and accepting the position. “In this case Mr Gove is just clearly the best candidate for the job. His experience in revolutionising the education sector will be very useful in revolutionising the education sector.”

Baroness Morgan, whom Gove is set to replace, was quick to condemn the appointment. “The decision to replace me was not based on my ability but based on who I am. Specifically, it was based on who I am being someone other than Michael Gove. This is blatantly unfair, I am far better suited for the job. For instance, I am not Michael Gove.”

Michael Gove was said to be very pleased with his announcement: “Well it’s looking like there may not be a job for ‘Minister Gove’ after the 2015 elections so I thought I’d be proactive with my job search and get into this education game full time. There’s obviously a mint to made. If you know the right people, that is.”

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