The world’s media will finally decide this weekend whether or not Amanda Knox is still attractive. The 26 year old will undergo a second trial in the court of public opinion now that she is back on the front pages for some reason or other.
“I haven’t thought about Amanda Knox for years,” said one member of the public. “She was the hot exchange student in Italy, right? I wonder if she’s still as attractive now? I better watch the news tonight to find out!”
Ms Knox first came to public attention in 2007 while on trial for sexy murder. Given her obvious sexiness at the time people are still unsure of the exact details of the case. Though Ms Knox was eventually cleared of being ‘suspiciously sexy while on your gap year’ she was instead found guilty of the lesser crime of ‘scrubbing up well but not in a femme fatale kind of way’.
The family of Amanda Knox are said to be very upset at news of the retrial: “Once someone has been found ‘not guilty though admittedly quite attractive’ it is unfair for them to have to undergo the same public scrutiny all over again. She should be allowed to be really good looking in peace.”
In an exclusive interview this morning, Gok Wan welcomed the reopening of the trial: “Sunglasses indoors? Unless you’re a member of N-Dubz, don’t even go there girlfriend.” He added “curtains belong in the bedroom or in the 90’s, not on your head. Guilty!”
Knox’s one-time boyfriend, Raffaele something-or-other, has once again been found to be far less attractive than her and has already been arrested by the Italian police for crimes against fashion.