"I am the sandwich maker. Nobody tells me how or when to make a sandwich."

Quentin Tarantino cancels sandwich after ingredients made public

"Nobody tells me when to make a sandwich. I’m shutting your butt down."

“Nobody tells me how or when to make a sandwich. I’m shutting your butt down.”

A furious Quentin Tarantino today announced that he would not be making any more sandwiches for at least another year if people insisted on knowing what was in them beforehand.

“I’m very depressed,” he said. “I plan my sandwiches a long time in advance, and I only gave the recipe for this latest sandwich to six people I thought would be interested. But some bastard leaked it.”

“All I was trying to do was create something unique and original, push the limits of lunchtime food – and then some motherfucker has to go and spoil it by hosting my shopping list on a file-sharing website. Now nobody gets to eat the sandwich. Are you happy?”

Rumours on food gossip website Chomper had tied Samuel Jackson to Tarantino’s sandwich, though Jackson claims he had a prior engagement to enjoy a sausage roll from Greggs with Martin Scorsese.

Rather than scrapping the sandwich completely, Tarantino says he will freeze the sandwich and might return to it at a later date, possibly putting it into a toastie maker.

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