A survey published by the BBC today has revealed that over half of 3–6 year olds are currently living in their parents’ home, a phenomenon which many are linking to the recent recession.
The survey’s damning conclusion says that toddlers are ‘chronically dependent’ on the financial support of their parents and “simply unable to become autonomous human beings”.
Psychologists have commented that many 3-6 year olds appear to have been mentally damaged by the impact of unaffordable housing to the extent that they struggle with basic speech, let alone finding employment. “Mama,” commented a typical participant in the survey. “Gahahaha! Mama! Mama!”
“Frankly, I think it’s tragic that this generation of young people lack the basic nerve to go out in the real world and make something of themselves,” commented Employment Minister Esther McVey. “There are plenty of jobs in coffee shops – underdeveloped motor skills, laws preventing 3-6 year olds from working, and the danger that caffeine fumes pose to infant brains are all just pathetic excuses. These people need to grow up.”
Right-wing pundits are blaming the current situation on the excesses of the nanny state under the previous government.