shell shock

Michael Gove: It is sweet and honourable to die for one’s country

shell shock

Just look at this happy chap! How can you tell me he’s not having the time of his life?

The response to my comments on WW1 last week has been utterly preposterous. These lefty historians whom I, very reasonably, accused of ‘denigrating patriotism and courage’ with their so-called “academic research”, have totally missed the point.

Let’s get this straight: this was a war fought for liberal democracy. Never mind that when the war began 40% of British men and all British women were unable to vote, shortly after the war we got universal suffrage. At the outbreak of war, our allies, the Russians were a brutal dictatorship, when they left the war they had a democratic provisional government.  Are we supposed to believe this is merely coincidence?

And yet, the lefty liberal academic establishment has spread a myth that the war was a series of catastrophic mistakes prolonged by an out-of-touch elite. I think the current cabinet proves such stereotypes are entirely fanciful and that the country regularly needs someone to make the tough decisions required to protect the state.

What people fail to see is that war is not all bad. Some people make a lot of money off it nowadays. Its just a pity that we used to think it was obscene to profit from death and misery. We could have made a fortune in WW1 and 2.

We should focus on the lighter sides of war. What about the football matches on Christmas day and the singsongs by the flickering fires in the trenches? What about all those wonderful poets inspired by the glory and the vivid imagery? I wouldn’t mind an ecstasy of fumbling myself if you know what I mean!

As we approach anniversary celebrations for the Great War its important not to waste time listening to the few remaining veterans but to paint a rosier picture of what it was like for them and prepare a new generation for the glorious resource wars to come. Did you ever think how funny it is so many veterans say they got to see their best friends killed in battle? We shouldn’t focus on the killed part; what about the fact that you make your best friends in the army?!

If you were to tell veterans that the war was a pointless exercise waged by feckless dying empires it would break their hearts. I don’t think that’s being condescending, it’s showing respect. Something funny people like Ben Elton and Rowan Atkinson wouldn’t understand.

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