Reports from Eritrea are indicating that once again, the entire poverty-stricken nation of six million was put on Santa’s naughty list and therefore received an average of zero presents per person this Christmas.
“We can only blame our own appalling behaviour for this,” commented the Eritrean ambassador to the UK, “Not, for example, a whole century of colonial exploitation by the Italians and later marginalisation under an inhumane Ethiopian regime bankrolled by the USA.”
A reflective Eritrea has attempted to list its childish misdeeds, including such crimes as ‘not possessing extensive mineral wealth’, ‘not being white’ and ‘generally being an East African country’.
“It’s well-known that Santa Claus is an advocate of free market capitalism,” commented one OECD observer. “As such he will likely have been unimpressed by Eritrea’s failure to industrialise early enough, this in turn allowing the state to be exploited by a global trade system that encourages technologically backwards nations to stay that way.”
“Also the lack of chimneys probably played a part.”