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Every letter typed into address bar brings up link to porn site

imageIn what is being described as a “a sign I should probably cut back”, Tim Moran, 27, has noticed that every time he starts typing a web address it autofills a different porn site he has recently visited in order to masturbate.

“Wow. That’s more porn than I remember looking at” Moran mused to himself. “Even K and V bring up about 5 different sites each.” He added “This can’t be be good.”

Moran went on: “The other day I was humming a tune to myself and realised that it was from this clip that I like watching. I could have sworn I overhead someone else in my office humming it later.”

Following his discovery Moran has had to come up with a variety of excuses in order to not lend his laptop to his housemates. “The other day Steve and I were hanging out in the living room and he asked if he could use my laptop to quickly look up some flight details or something. I couldn’t just say ‘no’, so I had to be really insistent that I do all the typing. I also made sure he looked away at key moments by pointing out something on TV or talking to him while I typed. It was incredibly stressful”.

“If I ever want to show someone a link on the BBC or Reddit, say, I have to have it loaded up beforehand, because it will invariably bring up a link to something…niche. And when there’s a party on and I just want to show some YouTube videos after a couple of drinks? It’s a nightmare.”

‘I can’t just clear my history though’ Moran added. ‘That’s way too obvious.’

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