Add a spoonful of this to your cornflakes instead of sugar and watch the weight drop off! It’s credited with working wonders for Yasser Arafat.
Substitute this where a recipe calls for baking soda and feel your healthy inner glow start to burn. Try Diet Caustic Soda for even greater weight loss.
You may know these cute little fellows as tapeworms. Either way, they go down easy and get to work right away. The perfect pet – they literally feed themselves.
Spontaneous human combustion may have fallen out of fashion these days but with a little practice you too can get nature’s most flamboyant chemical reaction working for you.
One mouthful of this rare compound will leave you speechless. The smell may not be the most appetising but you won’t have to worry about that for long.
Micro-organisms that wont stop until you’re ready to drop. Hard to get in Western supermarkets but they work wonders on excess skin folds.
Don’t just use it to cut your food up! Apply directly to those pesky love handles for fast results your friends will definitely notice.
Disclaimer: Attempting these or indeed any other online weight loss tips may result in death. You should not consume fire, radioactive elements, flesh-eating bacteria, tapeworms or large kitchen utensils and then claim someone online told you it was OK.