A consortium of GPs and Health Practitioners have called for Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt to “put his money where his mouth is” and work a whole 24-hour period without breathing or taking on oxygen.
“Following Mr Hunt’s recent comments, it behooves him to live a day in the life of someone without oxygen,” said a senior NHS source. “It’s a metaphor for what he’s doing to the NHS, or something. To be honest, I just want to see that prick turn blue and go brain-dead.”
“We don’t mind how this is achieved,” said Surgeon Raj Mansukhani. “He could hold his breath for a long time, or he could be submerged in the Thames for a day, or we could shoot him into the cold darkness of space without breathing equipment for one full rotation of the Earth. Whatever, really.” He also added that, should funding become available, a team of orderlies could be hired to throttle the breath out of the Minister’s lungs for the allotted period.
At the time of press, an online petition “NO AIR 4 HUNT” has been signed more than 250 billion times.