This Week’s Films with General Francisco Franco

Franco-1937-aThe former Spanish fascist dictator gives his verdict on this week’s cinema releases, exclusively in Underground Magazine.

Please note: General Franco has been dead for over 30 years, and his opinions may reflect this.

 

 

THE FIFTH ESTATEBenedict Cumberbatch as Julian Assange in a still from The Fifth Estate

(dir: Bill Condon)

I didn’t understand this film at all, as it was in English. But one thing is certain, Julian Assange should be tortured and killed.

 

 

BLUE JASMINEblue-jasmine6

(dir: Woody Allen)

Again, the English dialogue was lost on me. The main character was a woman. She should be tortured and killed.

 

 

SUNSHINE ON LEITHsunshine on leith

(dir: Dexter Fletcher)

I am a huge fan of The Proclaimers, and it’s high time they got their own musical. Before ultimately being tortured and killed.

 

 

LE WEEK-ENDLe Weekend

(dir: Roger Michell)

No idea what this was all about. Set in Paris, which is not as good as Madrid. Everyone involved should be tortured and killed.

 

 

ESCAPE PLANTHE TOMB

(dir: Mikael Hafstrom)

(Dictators pick) Lots of fighting shooting and shouting, which is excellent.  A couple of very fine performances from Schwarzenneger and Stallone so far as I could tell, although I didn’t understand a word of the dialogue. Truly, they are the two greats of Hollywood acting. They should both be tortured and killed.

 

Next week: Mussolini on the latest indie albums

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