Energy firms pledge to freeze all homes from 2015

“At least we can unplug the fridge now.”

Britain’s major energy firms agreed today to freeze all homes from 2015 should a Labour government be elected, pledging to keep them at the same sub-zero temperature for the foreseeable future. Bills, however, are certain to rise.

“This is a big commitment,” explained Tony Cocker, Chief Executive of E.On. “It’s not easy to make energy prices so high that most people find it difficult to afford to heat their homes. We’re really going to have to make an effort here. But we can do it.”

Energy analysts have warned that these plans could lead to the lights going out across Britain, as homeowners opt to live their lives in permanent darkness rather than risk the chance of seeing the reading on their energy meters.

Ed Miliband welcomed the plan to freeze all homes. “But we won’t stop here,” he added. “When – I mean, if, we’re elected in 2015, we’ll also freeze the entire British economy.”

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