Mayan analysts have been forced to admit that their prediction that the world will end on December 21st, 2012 was probably overstated. The prophecy has now been revised to an indication that we can expect a hotter-than-average summer, and that “one of China or the US” will win the next Olympic Games.
“Apocalyptic conditions have just not materialised in the way we anticipated,” said head soothsayer Intzamn’aaj Chabtan, shaking his head and carving a thick red downwards line on a temple wall. “As this is the second consecutive 5,125-year cycle in the Mesoamerican long-count calendar without a doomsday event, we’re officially in a double-dip cataclysm.”
Aztec business secretary Vi’ins Caabl pointed out that he had been predicting an apocalypse-free 2012 all along. He was, however, removed from his role last year after failing to show sufficient respect to the Sun god.