Months of speculation came to a joyful end this afternoon after Prince Harry and Lacie-Jayne DeBeer, Candi Sierra, D’Shawna Rice, Sophia Foxton and Crystal Bologna (employees at LA’s Foxhole gentlemen’s club) announced that they were expecting eight babies.
The children, who will be the 5th-12th in line for the British throne, were all apparently conceived during one long foam party in LA last year.
“It’s just wonderful to see the younger generation of Royals embracing some of the older family traditions,” said one excited royal watcher. “I’m hoping at least one of the children will be hideously deformed and forced to live out its days chained in the cells under Buckingham Palace.”
“The strippers and I are obviously overjoyed,” said Harry at a press conference in a hot-tub in Chelsea today. “It’s just a blessing. Eight wonderful blessings.”
Early reports indicate that the babies will all be called James, Elizabeth, Henry, Alfred or Denzel.
A spokesman for the Royal family buried his head in his hands.