Political observers are becoming increasingly concerned with Nick Clegg’s late night baking marathons. They are reporting that he often now arrives home to do nothing other than bake until well after sunrise, raising questions about his mental state.
Spokesmen have denied that recent political setbacks have taken their toll on the Deputy PM’s mental health, claiming that the relentless baking sessions were part of many senior politicians’ daily regimen. They refused to comment on leaked pictures of the Liberal Democrat leader appearing to stare at a baked scale replica of the House of Lords while crying.
“Every night, now, he just comes home and bakes. Muffins, flans, full-blown cakes, he’ll do anything. He can’t even eat most of it. He wanders round Westminster, asking people if they’d try a cupcake.”, said Sir Alan James Beith, MP for Berwick-upon-Thames, holding a cupcake with a large red smile drawn in icing sugar. “People feel bad turning him down.”
“Flour, four hundred grams. Measure measure measure. Ho hum, ho hum”, Clegg told onlookers in his kitchen at 4am yesterday. “Bake bake bake. Lovely cakes”.