Despite the warnings of middle-aged people with steady jobs, secure pensions, and large accumulated capital, students are obstinately continuing to graduate into a terrible job market.
“Call me old-fashioned, but in my day we graduated into healthy economies with high social mobility,” said a millionaire government minister.
“What young people today don’t seem to understand is that there are lots of jobs – I’ve got a job! And so has everyone my age I know,” said another senior politician. “They’re all like ‘Oh! We need to find a job!’ so why on earth didn’t they choose to be born around 20 years ago?!?”
“And I don’t get why they don’t just buy houses at a time when house prices are at an all-time low, and then do nothing but wait until the house market sky-rockets and then end up sitting on a fantastic investment? Young people these days have no work ethic. Or work.”