'Charming' Boris (inset: Mr Livingstone)

Ken Attacks ‘Massive Media Bias’ As Boris Saves Loveable Puppy

Ken boris photo Ken Attacks Massive Media Bias As Boris Saves Loveable Puppy

‘Charming’ Boris (inset: Mr Livingstone)

The London mayoral election got off to a dramatic start today after dobby-faced ratfink candidate Ken Livingstone accused the mainstream media of “a ridiculous, systematic pro-Tory bias,” as presumptive winner Boris Johnson heroically rescued Toto, a tiny Labrador whose paw had been stuck under a pipe in a quarry.

“It was nothing, really,” said Boris modestly, holding the animal aloft as its huge eyes gleamed with appreciation, in stark contrast to Ken, who was most likely gibbering antisemitic diktats in a kremlin somewhere, according to an expert. Boris went on to cuddle the tiny dog, calling it “woofums” in a way that was both statesmanlike yet sensitive, while Ken cynically visited a local school to drum up support for his dying campaign.

“I think Ken’s problem is that he’s failed to connect with the Ken-hating vote,” commented Sarah Sands, editor of BORIS FOR MAYOR (previously the Evening Standard). “But I don’t think we’re particularly biased. We just print the facts, most of the facts, and then we add adjectives to Ken’s name, and if people read those adjectives and think that the only logical conclusion is to go out and put a big X next to that lovely Mr Johnson, then that’s their business.”

Reacting to criticism that yesterday’s issue featured such pro-Johnson headlines as “104 Business Leaders Support Boris”, “Livingstone Fails To Prevent Newcastle Orphanage Fire”, and “Obama Visits Troops In Afghanistan (vote Boris)”, Sands shrugged aimlessly. “Eh.”

Voters have rejected the idea that any alleged bias would influence their decisions. “I’m not so easily manipulated by the capitalist media,” scoffed student John Foot, sipping a Coke Zero. “And I’ll be voting with my heart, with my brain, and with the confidence that comes from doing the research and knowing the candidates inside out. Because that’s how democracy works.”

Johnson is expected to win the election by 107%, though the poll has a 4% margin of error.

“Brian Paddick,” added a Liberal Democrat voter. “Brian ­Paddick.”

Your Comments


Related News

77 Responses

Leave a Reply


  1. comics de incesto
  2. beard bros
  3. ro water
  4. foro porno
  5. porn
  6. water ionizer
  7. mayweather vs pacquiao
  8. porno gratis
  9. videos xxx
  10. Broom
  11. http://friendfeed.com/OscarCastroo
  12. xbox live membership free
  13. 3f-phenmetrazine
  14. nifoxipam
  15. sports accessories london
  16. Przedszkola Warszawa
  17. emo
  18. browse around this site
  19. Pregnancy Calculator
  20. best buy smartphone accessories
  21. botanique at bartley price
  22. bb-22 powder
  23. sign up for modeling
  24. buy research chemicals
  25. linked here
  26. best Pandora style bracelets
  27. equity plaza
  28. videos porno
  29. beach bunny tiger lily
  30. Marty
  31. muebles reciclados
  32. videos xxx
  33. online earning sites
  34. juego tragamonedas online
  35. videos porno de incesto
  36. go2DECODE
  37. Signs Of Pregnancy
  38. anti wrinkle tricks
  39. kangen
  40. click here to read
  41. Teja Bach
  42. instagram likes app hack
  43. dating sites for kids
  44. visit
  45. social media advertising statistics
  46. social networking advertising
  47. directory
  48. visit the site
  49. what is the best dating site
  50. social media impact on business
  51. etvyguhnimjihbuhb
  52. zwesxrdctfyvgjnn
  53. water ionizer comparisons
  54. alkaline water
  55. water ionizer
  56. blue ofica
  57. cat 4 brother
  58. Air Jordan 9 Men
  59. roger vivier flats
  60. moshi monsters cheats I like
  61. nike air max one
  62. cheap air max
  63. chatroulette alternative 20 am besten
  64. diet plan for abs
  65. https://www.facebook.com
  66. extraits transexuel
  67. salope de 18 ans
  68. sexe hardcore en streaming
  69. authority snap scam
  70. video porno gratuite
  71. free credit report gov
  72. beurette nue
  73. http://www.snowflake.cc/p/buy-instagram-followers.html
  74. meufs sexy
  75. baseball heroes cheats
  76. yellow october
  77. Bottega Veneta Sale