Samantha Brick

‘Something Controversial’, Says Up-And-Coming Daily Mail Writer

“Something controversial”

A budding Daily Mail journalist said something controversial, in doing so sparking a debate between two groups of people – one condemning the controversial statement, the other defending it.

“I’ve been struggling to pay the bills for a while now,” said the writer of the controversial statement, “And then I remembered controversy – so I stuck a bit of that in my latest piece and woooo, there we go! A zillion hits!”

A spokesman for a group opposing the controversial statement said: “This is appalling.”

A spokesman for a group supporting the controversial statement said: “This is not appalling.”

“I’m giving you a contract,” commented the editor of the Daily Mail. “You’re a sure fire success. Say something else which is controversial, maybe about abortion this time? Cheers!”

“According to our figures, we made about £30 billion from the advertising for this article online,” said the Daily Mail’s advertising chief. “Our data suggests that most clicks came from people condemning the condemnation of the condemnation of people condemning the article, who were so confused by what they actually thought that they clicked on anything just to get away from the page.”

The writer’s next article, entitled ‘Even more controversial thing’, will be published tomorrow.

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