Clegg draws praise for only act of self-expression ‘in decades’

Nick Clegg delivers long, earnest saxophone solo

Clegg draws praise for only act of self-expression ‘in decades’

Clegg draws praise for only act of self-expression ‘in decades’

During a speech on the forthcoming NHS reforms yesterday, Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg paused mid-sentence to embark on a heartfelt rendition of the saxophone solo from ‘Baker Street’.

“I definitely didn’t see that coming,” said a shocked onlooker. “One second he was talking insincerely about the NHS, then suddenly he just said ‘Fuck it’ under his breath and picked up the tenor sax. Then he really came alive.”

Those present were moved to tears by the Lib Dem leader’s musicality. After the recital climaxed with a ten minute jazz improvisation, Clegg received his only ever standing ovation.

“He’s just a hurting little boy,” wept pensioner Mary ­Francis. “Let him live his stunted, broken life and stop all this silly bullying about politics!”

“I’ve never seen a man mean every damn note the way Nick did then!” sobbed another. “He may be a useless son-of-a-bitch, but he’s got so much goddamn heart!”

“I was crying, he was crying… everyone was crying,” said Gary Johnson, a Lib Dem aide. “It was beautiful. Who’d have thought he had any sincerity left in him?”

After the applause had died down, Clegg took a sip of water, moved back behind the podium, and continued to deliver his pre-written speech about the importance of patient choice in a dull monotone. “But we all knew where his heart really was,” said Johnson. “For a brief moment, we glimpsed the man we once loved.”

The Prime Minister has since announced that all future saxophone solos will be vetted beforehand as part of the Coalition agreement. A mournful Clegg reportedly watched as George Osborne took away his saxophone to be melted down into scrap metal.

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